I Can’t Say Why

But things are really starting to look up for me. I feel like after a year of juggling life (work, gym, relationships, etc.) I’m finally starting to see a return on my mental, emotional, and financial investments.

Over the weekend, a lot of things have changed with my marriage. I can’t really get into it because I was asked not to, but we’re trying something completely new that I’ve never even considered before. However, for now, it requires us to be in a “closed” relationship again. This is not permanent as of now, but we shall see what happens in the coming months. I feel like my spouse and I are considering an avenue in regard to our relationships both with each other as well as other people that is even crazier than an open relationship. And the more I think about it, the more I like it. As I said though, I really can’t get into the details yet. Maybe soon. Just keep watching.

As for work…last night was slow. I had a friend over and he ended up getting pretty tanked, so I only got about four hours of work in. I wanted to make sure he was good and passed out before I started clacking away at the keyboard. But hey, I made like $130 in four hours, so there’s always that. I’m happy with it. Tonight is supposed to be my first full night of work, with an hour break around midnight so I can dash off to the gym. I also get a fifty dollar bonus each week that I complete more than 25 articles, so I’ll be meeting that quota tonight.

And speaking of the gym, I’ve decided to take a new approach to it. Instead of saying I want to lost 50 pounds, which, to me, is a lot to think on, I’m going to aim to lose just ten pounds as quickly (and in the healthiest way) I can. Once I keep that off for a solid week, I’m going to attempt to lose ten more. And so on and so on, until I’m down to the weight I want to be again. Once that happens, I’ll be back in the club asap where I hope to make $50-100 an hour, rather than what I’m making now. I’ll still write part time, of course, because it’s a good fallback. But it’ll be nice to be doing mindless manual labor again. (That’s totally what dancing is.)

I wish I knew what else to write about. I really want to write one big long post. But I need writing prompts or something. I dunno what I’m supposed to say. And since I’ve stopped smoking I haven’t really had many “cigarette musings”, like I used to.

Commence Project Chest!

So for the first time since I got the chest home, it hasn’t been raining/freezing, I woke up early enough, and I don’t have company. So I started work today. Here are some photos of my progress so far. Granted, it’s about to start raining, so I don’t have much done, but I got at least one side 2/3 complete, so…that’s something I suppose.

Here’s the back side of it after using the heat gun. You can see on the right side where I test sanded a spot, just to make sure that it wouldn’t mess up the wood. But this was pretty much stage one of three per side. I discovered that whoever painted this thing used only one coat of paint (the thicker/more coats of paint, the more it’ll bubble and peel off) with a primer mixed into it. So because it was so thin, there were a lot of spots that wouldn’t bubble enough to peel off entirely. I got off as much as I could though, and noticed that the back is stamped under the paint. I can’t make out what it says, but I hope that I’ll be able to remove it during stage three. I doubt it, but I do have a small concern that every side is stamped. I really hope not, but if that’s the case, I’ll just work extra hard with the sander to get it off.

This is after step two: sanding. I have to say, this is some of the smoothest, softest wood I’ve ever sanded. I love it. It feels like silk almost. Anyway, as you can see, I managed to get 99% of the excess paint off with the sander. Part three is to hand sand it with a finer grit paper so I can get off the last remaining flecks of paint. But as it is right now, I’m very pleased. And I’ll continue to update with pictures as I go.

I hope to get all the sides done over the course of three days, then devote a day for the lid and legs. That’s hoping the weather holds up, of course. I just went outside to smoke/vape/whatever though, and it’s starting to sprinkle a little bit. So we’ll see.

By the way, I’m sorry I haven’t been updating every day. Sometimes it’s hard to think of things to write about, and I don’t really do much. Like yesterday, I just spent to day running around with my partner, who took the day off to hang out with me. Which was a very nice thing to do. 🙂 The only real interesting thing I did was go to Vaperite again to get a bigger battery. Pink, of course, and with a little twisty knob at the bottom to control the mil…milli…the amps. The beginner battery I got was dying too soon. Hopefully this one will only have to be charged once a day, so I can just put it on the charger when I go to bed.

Gah! I got sidetracked. Anyway, what I meant to say was that if anyone ever wants to give me a writing prompt, please feel free to leave them in the comments. I love prompts, and as always, I read every comment I get.

I’m (Sort Of) A Non-Smoker!

Well, I smoked my last cigarette yesterday. And I went back to Vaperite today. I don’t know if that makes me a non-smoker or not. I still have nicotine intake, but I’m not smoking. Maybe you could equate it to the patch or the gum. So I’m kind of a non-smoker now. Fun!

I picked up a bunch of flavors at vaperite today. White chocolate raspberry, peanut butter, orange cream, cinnamon apple, strawberry pixie, green apple, pomegranate lemonade, praline pecan, and cotton candy. All of them except for the first three are little sample bottles that only refill twice. The bigger bottles will refill much more than that. The reason I grabbed them though was because they were on clearance for $6. The little trial sized ones are only $2. Can you imagine only paying a dollar per pack for smokes? Awesome.

I feel like I’m obsessing with Vaperite right now, and I guess I kinda am. They’re certainly saving my ass right now. I even got an email from to store owner, who was congratulating me on quitting smoking and offering the help of the store as much as I need. Really nice thing to say.

Really I don’t feel too stressed out. I don’t have a headache and I’m not coughing. I just feel kinda tense and anxious. But I know it’s to be expected, and I plan to ask my doctor if it’s cool to pop one of my klonopin when it gets too bad. They’re there to help my anxiety, so if I start to have a panic attack, maybe they’ll be helpful.

Oh and sorry I didn’t post yesterday. I was spending time with my partner, doing the family stuff. (Yay!)

It’s Here!

Well…picked up the hope chest today! I’m so excited about this project! Check out some of the “before” pictures I just took:

Isn’t it pretty? Ignore the paint. The paint will be removed. I love the shape and size of it. And it smells heavenly inside, where the cedar can actually breathe. I can’t wait to get started on removing the paint. I’ll probably go pick up a heat gun tonight, after I research how to use one properly.

In other news, I’ve had one cigarette today. I’m about to have another though. So two so far. Yesterday I only had five. I’m doing alright with the cutting down, and the Vaperite is really helping. I do feel a little on edge, but I guess that is to be expected. I’ll keep giving you guys updates though. Hell, I’ll probably need to write as much as possible when I quit completely. All that stress will have to go somewhere.

Peace and Tacos!

Zero Percent (An Important Announcement)

So I’ve decided to quit smoking this year. Or at least, I’m going to try to. But before any of you non-smokers get all over my ass about it, let me just say that every time I hear, “Yeah, you SHOULD quit!!!” or “Are you quitting? How about now? Now? How about now?” it just makes me want to smoke all the more. Because it’s annoying as shit. Words of encouragement are one thing. Riding my ass and/or being judgmental is my biggest hindrance. So please, lay off my kool-aid…or whatever. (It’s cute when my baby sister says it.)

Anyway, I mentioned my new Vaperite the other day. Here’s a picture of it for you.

The black top is the nozzle. The clear part holds the flavored nicotine juice. The pink part is a rechargeable battery. And it’s hooked onto a lanyard so I don’t lose it.

Clicking the picture will take you to the vaperite website, if you’re interested in checking them out. I plan to use this as my quitting tool. You see, along with having some awesome flavors I can’t wait to try, (such as chai tea, white chocolate raspberry, banana foster’s, and orange cream), each vaperite juice also comes with a nicotine percentage. I’m at 18% right now, which is pretty high. But they sell all sorts of flavors at zero percent. Which means I would be able to enjoy smoking without having to intake any nicotine or other bad for you stuff (because most of the juices are organic). I can have a healthy smoking habit?! Whaaa? Yes, please!

I’m actually rather excited about this. I won’t be buying anymore cigarettes after I run out of this carton (just two packs left!) and I’ll be using my vaperite 100% of the time. When I run out of the juice I already have, then I’ll order more at a lower percent. Rinse and repeat until I get to zero, and I will technically be a non-smoker at that point.

Whew! All that talk about it and I just had to go use it. So delicious! Anyway, I’ll keep you all updated on my progress. And if any of you order a vaperite, please post a review of the flavors you chose in the comments so I can better learn which ones to test out and which ones to avoid. Wish me luck!

My Day Today

I just narrowly avoided a drunk girl post last night. But even drunk I knew that everything I was writing sounded insane to anyone who wasn’t me, so I opted for a nap instead. Sorry I didn’t update anything yesterday, but other than the mental craziness, there really wasn’t much to say.

Today, however, is a different story. I’ve been on the go since noon. (Which, for those of you that aren’t familiar with my night schedule, is equal to you waking up at 5AM.) First thing on my to-do list today was therapy. I picked a new therapist last week, and today was our second session. His name is Charles, and he’s kind of awesome. He offers more of a life coach type style, rather than just a therapist style. You know, we go back and forth. It’s not just me talking and him nodding and taking notes. (He let me read his notes on me too, which was kinda cool.) At the end of the session, he gave me some “homework” which includes writing/blogging as much as I can. I’m going to try and update every day, but I know I’ll at least update every time there’s something on my mind or I have something to say. Hopefully that’ll be every day.

After therapy, my spouse and I hit up a local brat/hotdog place that’s really good, and I stopped by a newly opened jewelry shop next door. I picked up three sets of the same earrings: little wooden violins in purple, blue, and green. I think they’re artsy and cute, but my partner says they’re hood. Maybe if I decorate them with glitter or something they’ll look better. They were a dollar a pair though, so it’s not like I was throwing cash out the window in a big way.

I did throw out a bunch of cash at Vaperite though, which is where we went next. A good friend of mine has one of their reusable electronic cigarettes that’s filled with a blueberry pancake flavored mix. Every time he comes over I have to use it, so I figured it was about time to get one of my own. Hopefully it’ll help with my sugar cravings as well as quitting smoking. Right now it’s filled with butterscotch, but I also picked up strawberry shortcake, blueberry pancake, and “strawberry pixie”, which the lady in the shop gave me to try for free after I told her a joke about me having chronic bitchface.

Last stop was Play N Trade, where I found two more old Spyro games. I realized the other day that I have about half of them and the couple I’ve played were all out of order in the storyline, so I’ve made it my goal to pick up the ones I don’t have and play them all sequentially. So far I’m missing Spyro the Dragon, Year of the Dragon, Enter the Dragonfly, Hero’s Tail, The Eternal Night, and Dawn of the Dragon. I’m trying to get them all for the Playstation systems, even though some of them can be found of Gamecube and/or XBox360, just to have the Sony set. Yes, I’m a nerd among nerds. I like the shitty adventure video games. Haha.

Now my partner is in the shower getting ready for work, and I am sitting here wondering what I’m going to do with my evening, outside of trying to fix this job situation I’m in. (Another long story. Basically I found a job, but the payment options are messed up and I have to fix that before I can start working.) My friend with the Vaperite told me he’d see me tonight, but then he came over Wednesday, so I’m not sure he’ll want to see me again. Hopefully he does. It’d be nice to have some company.