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Gliders Among Us

Published September 20, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

(Just to note, I’ve added a new sub-section to the blog tab called “Sugars”. Anything pertaining to Ayla and Lucca will be in there, including this blog post.)

About a week ago, I was contemplating some interior design options for my living room. More specifically, debating what I would like to place in front of the three tall windows next to my front door. At that point, they were sans curtains, and had a folded up treadmill and a bin of dog toys in front of them. You’d think after living here over a year and a half, I’d have figured something out by now, but with all the design focus being mostly on the epic man cave…I just hadn’t gotten around to it. So there I was, just a-pondering, when the notion to place a large-ish aquarium there crossed my mind. Hey, I already have Opal the Indestructible Goldfish in my bedroom, so what’s a few more fish, right? From there, I got to thinking, “Well if I’m gonna put a huge glass cage there, maybe now would be the time to knock one more thing off my bucket list, and consider a pet snake instead.” I pretty much went off the deep end at that point. I considered fish, iguanas, snakes, hamsters, and more. This, of course, being mere hours after I (yet again) pleaded with my spouse for a third dog. lol.

I had finally settled on the snake idea, when my bestie popped up on facebook chat. In my manic excitement, I told her what I was thinking about doing. And I mentioned that maybe she could assist me in swaying my partner to let me have a chihuahua for Christmas.

Then she asked me a question that would change everything.

“What about a sugar glider?”

Uh…a what? The term sounded vaguely familiar, but for some reason I just couldn’t form a mental image of a sugar glider. So I made the happy mistake of googling them. What I saw made my stomach do roller coaster flips. There, staring back at me on the screen, was the most beautiful, adorable, fantastical little creature I had ever seen. This charming little grey bundle of sweetness that wasn’t quite a mouse and wasn’t quite a squirrel. I was instantly sold. (Thanks, BFF!)

Of course, my first rational thought after “SQUEEEE!” was “I wonder why these little guys aren’t all over the place…” so I started doing some research. My friend had told me that they’re super friendly, can travel in your pocket with you, and are pretty easy to care for. Good selling points for convincing my spouse. Log that away for later. Then I found the Perfect Pocket Pets website. First link on google, and I read every single word of every single page. It seemed too good to be true. You keep them in a pretty little birdcage (file/new tab/craigslist/for sale/”vintage bird cage”) and feed them this stuff called Glide-R-Gravy and apples. Low maintenance, no smells, friendly toward other animals and kids, etc. They seemed absolutely like a easy and perfect fit for my home!

A little TOO perfect. Something about PPP seemed a little off to me. So I did the smart thing and searched “Perfect Pocket Pets Reviews”. Boy was I in for a shock. Long story short, PPP is a disgusting mill breeder/broker company that often sells sick and dying sugars. They’ll tell you anything to make a profit. A-NY-THING. Fuckers. Moving on.

So I did tons of relentless research all night and learned a lot about sugars. They’re NOT low maintenance at all. In fact, they require near constant attention. Not to mention special diets and restriction from certain materials and chemicals. (No more Febreeze in this house!) By the time my spouse called to let me know he was on his way home, I felt like I had a decent amount of knowledge and a basic understanding of what I was getting myself into. Did I still want one? Nope. I wanted two.

Conversation went like this:

“Hey Baby, how was your night?”

“Slow and boring. You?”

“Um…informative. I’ve been researching all night.”

“What have you been researching?”

“Sugar gliders…*repeats all the info above*…So…can we do that instead of an aquarium?”


(Shit, that was easier than I thought it’d be!)

And so the decision was made: Our menagerie/fur family is about to expand. Where do we go from here?

More to come…


Countdown to Take Off

Published April 17, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

Where have I been? Oh, you know…around.

Actually, I almost let something terrible happen. I almost let the remarks of other people stop me from writing at all. Two people have given me some constructive criticism over the last two weeks, and while their remarks (I believe) were truly well-intended, it almost shut down this blog. Not because what they said was all that terrible, but because it forced me to make a decision I hadn’t yet considered. I had to ask myself what is more important: getting out my thoughts and feelings in a positive and productive way, or generating a larger group of readers. While I would simply love to have my cake and eat it too, I fear that my personal style of writing isn’t one which easily grabs the attention of people who don’t already know me.

“But Carmen, why can’t you just alter your writing style without altering the content?” That’s the question I’ve been asking myself. And that was basically the comment that I got from other people. I feel at this juncture that would be making something that is supposed to be fun into something that’s now a lot of work. Call me lazy if you want, but I just don’t want to risk ruining the one outlet I have.

Maybe if I had some time to slowly adapt to a new writing style, or I had some examples that I could emulate at first, then it wouldn’t seem like such a big change. If you would like to offer your comments or assistance, I would really appreciate it. Feel free to use the comment button below.

I know that once again I’ve written a jumbled and flawed entry full of holes perfect for inserting queries and speculation. The only thing I can say is that I’m just writing what I think. That’s all I know to do for now.

A New Look

Published March 10, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

Well…what do you think? I changed the site up from just a blog to a fully functional website. Pages and links and all that jazz. Granted, I had to change the theme in order to make it work, and it’s a little…pink…but I like the gothic-looking town at the bottom. (Go look. I’ll wait…done looking? Isn’t that cute? Ok, onward.) Anyway, I would appreciate any and all input on what I could do to improve things. I plan to eventually link to a facebook page, and I’m sure I’ll customize the theme to make it more “me”. But for now, this is it. I hope you like it. I had fun playing around with the wordpress dashboard. So…yeah. Enjoy!

A Quickie

Published February 15, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

I have company coming over tonight. One friend from out of town will be here around 9-ish and the other local friend will be here 8:30-ish. It’s gonna be fun!

Anyway, it was requested in the comments of my last post that I do a drunken AMA live chat. But I’d rather turn that idea around a little bit, and do an AMA blog. So in the comments of this post, you can ask me anything you want. Be anonymous or state your name, doesn’t matter. Next time I get drunk (which should be in a few hours I’m guessing), I will answer every question to the best of my ability.

Ready? Go!

My First Post

Published January 28, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

Alright, so I just picked a pre-set theme for my blog, because I don’t have the time or patience to custom build one right now. I’m sure that sometime in the near future I’ll sit around and make something cool, but for now this works. I like the different shades of green, and I actually have a picture of myself where I’m wearing pretty much the same outfit at the chick in the upper right hand corner. Sure, I was 18 and they were bondage pants. But the shirt was green and…oh, like it really matters.

Right now I think this blog is going to just be about my thoughts on things and my day-to-day life. I built this account on my phone while I was half asleep yesterday, so not a whole lot of thought went into this. At least nothing beyond, “I miss writing.” A note to any readers though, I do have a tendency to write more when I am upset/sad/pissed off. It’s a stress thing. That doesn’t mean my life is all that depressing or awful. In fact, for the most part, I quite enjoy my life. Sometimes I just have to get things out though.

This really isn’t the best blog I could write. It’s just kind of a stream of consciousness as I am trying to think of things to fill in the first entry. My writing skills aren’t as lacking as they first appear…why am I apologizing? MY blog. Fuck you.

Smokie time. Now where are my cigarettes?…