All My Children (A graphically violent bit of writing therapy)

Published September 29, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

I was going to write a blog about week two of having the gliders, and Ayla’s escape last night. (Lucca distracted us after playtime last night and Ayla snuck out and downstairs into the man cave. Fortunately, she came right to us when we caught up to her.) But now I want to write about something else. I’ll put this in the gliders section because it’s applies to them, and because I don’t have a section for Laci and Griffin (my two dogs, if you didn’t already know). Bear with me though…even as I write this, I don’t know what it is I want to say exactly. I don’t know what my message is, or if I even have one.

Over the last couple of days, I have been spending my time watching videos on a site called http://www.upworthy.com. I don’t really know why. Maybe subconsciously I just needed something to feel good about. I’m not feeling well this weekend, and so it’s been a pretty good distraction so far. It’s at least gotten me hooked on a book about the introvert/extrovert spectrum and something called The Extrovert Ideal, which has made me think a lot, and left me feeling a little frustrated. Anyway, the book is by Susan Cain, and it’s called Quiet. I haven’t finished it yet, but I already recommend it, and might make a post about it after I’m done reading.

I saw Patrick Stewart lose his cool over the mere idea of a man ever putting his hands on a woman in a violent way. I already love Patrick Stewart, and that just made me love him more.

I also saw countless videos of people helping the homeless, rehabilitating victims of sex trafficking, infecting strangers with laughter, and in general just bringing goodness into the world in unique and creative ways. I’ve been stuck on the community and inspirational sections for two days.

Then today, I saw something that, to me, was the total opposite of “upworthy”. And it’s really shaken me. It was so completely horrific that I’m not going to post the video here. I don’t want it on my blog. If you wanna see it yourself, go find it on upworthy. But essentially what happened was this:

A group of people were standing on the street outside a crime scene, video taping all the police cars and SWAT trucks. There was a guy who was just a little bit closer than everyone else, so you could see him being video taped as well. He was just standing on the sidewalk, next to his parked car, with his cell phone in one hand, and his dog’s leash in the other. Like everyone else, he was filming whatever was going on. Down the sidewalk from him were two cops, kinda keeping all the spectators in their peripherals. I guess the cops eventually decided that the guy with the dog was too close to the scene and told him to stop recording and leave. The guy didn’t do ANYTHING confrontational. He put his phone in his pocket, walked back to his car, put his dog inside, and prepared to get in himself. And here is where my spouse and I differ. My partner says everything that followed was the guys fault for opening his mouth/daring to challenge authority. Had it been me though (I guess because I’m naturally argumentative) I would have done precisely what this guy did.

He said, “Isn’t this some violation of my civil rights?” That’s it. He didn’t walk toward the cops. He didn’t present any threat to anybody. He was getting in his car as he said it. But the cops turned to him, walked down the sidewalk, and instantly arrested him. For asking a question. All the while, his dog was in the backseat of the car, barking. I noted that it seemed like these two cops were being unnecessarily rough with this guy, but that thought soon left my mind when the dog jumped out the window of the car and ran over to it’s owner. And one of the cops shot it.

This wasn’t like “blamo, you’re dead”, either. This cop shot the dog four or five times. AND IT DIDN’T DIE!!! The poor thing was there, writhing and bleeding to death in the street. Convulsing in agony. Of course his owner was screaming in horror. And the cops just…stood there. They watched, and worse, forced the dog’s owner to watch it die. Everyone. They all just watched.

I don’t even know what to say. People are homeless, children are dying, wars are raging…but this just fucked me up.

I don’t have children. Or rather…I don’t have human children. Maybe it’s stupid to some of you, but Laci and Griffin ARE my children. Ayla and Lucca are too. I’d do anything to keep them healthy, happy, and protected. After I watched this horrible clip, I just sat here, asking myself if I’d be willing to die for one of my dogs. And the answer is yes. I love them that much.

I’m so angered by what I saw. And so heartbroken by it. And in writing all of this out, and seeing it again in my mind…after comparing it to all the other positive things I’ve seen on this (typically) awesome and positive upworthy site, I finally know how to react. I’m going to get off this stupid computer, stop watching a bunch of strangers make a bunch of other strangers happy, and focus on making my own house a happier place. Time to spend a little time with my partner and my “kids”.

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