…but I was good at not getting caught.
So I was skimming other blogs just now, and I saw something really interesting. A blog post this girl had made where she typed out excerpts from her childhood journal and then commented on them. Ballsy. Real ballsy. But then again, her journal was about Anne Frank and birthday parties. Still, I couldn’t resist. I ran upstairs to my little hiding place and busted open my box of childhood journals. I use to write a LOT, so I have two or three dozen of them. I picked up the biggest one, and started to read.
I was a terrible little shit when I was younger. I mean…I was kinda gloating to myself before I started reading. “All these years and I remember what my first entry in this journal is about.” (I thought it was about an argument I was having with my then-girlfriend.) Buuut…I was way wrong. In the first ten pages of my journal I:
- had some lesbian sex
- got caught smoking at school
- skipped detention
- stole from department stores
- skipped school/snuck off school property
- dumped my girlfriend immediately post-sex (because I gave her money for smokes and she didn’t buy them…that was the “argument”.)
- shot my brother with a BB gun
- stole my mother’s mail
- forged a report card
- smoked weed and dropped acid
In only ten pages! And that was in 2001, so I was…*pause to ask someone else to do the math* 15. I was fucking 15?!
Oi, I bet I was a real fun person to be around at 15. hehehe…
I was always under this impression that though I did a few bad things as a teen, I never gave my parents much trouble. But if these ten pages are any reflection on my childhood…I’m really really sorry, Mom and Dad.
So I guess we’ll get on with it. I really wanna try this reflections thing. Since we kinda skimmed over the first ten pages, I’ll just open the book to a random page. Here we go.
August 2nd, 2002 Page 104
“Happy Birthday to me! I’m 16, finally! YAY!!!
Ok, I’m really sorry I haven’t written anything in awhile, but I think you may have noticed by now that there just isn’t much to write about during the summer. But so far, this vacation has been pretty cool. I swim in the pool every day and I’ve been to the beach three times. I have a great tan. I even got a tanning sticker and now I have a butterfly tan line on my back.
You wouldn’t BELIEVE how many hot girls I’ve seen here! It’s crazy! But even though they’re everywhere, I still miss Hannah.
For my birthday dinner, I finally tried lobster for the first time. (tradition: no lobster until your 16th birthday.) After that, we went to this cool ice cream parlor. I got cheesecake ice cream with raspberries, white chocolate chips, and pralines mixed into it.
While I’ve been here, I bought:
1 glasses case
2 tanning stickers
1 cross stitch pattern
Not to mention about a million things I’ve stolen, including a radio and a pack of cigarettes. (BTW, I’ve had three smokes in the past two days. Ahhh! I’m dying!) I’ll list all the stuff I stole when I get back home. I can’t look at it all here.
Oh, guess what? Cameron got a tattoo! He says he got it for me. Isn’t that sweet? It’s a dragon on his leg. Cool, huh? And I got my navel pierced today! It pinched, but it felt great. I really like the pain of piercings I think. I’ll probably get more, but Mom says, “you can’t until you move out!” Whatever. Like if I get my nipples pierced she’s ever going to know about it.
Oh. My. God.
Mom, I never got my nipples pierced. Promise.
Ok, first off…why the fuck was I calling myself Maluenda D’Ravyn? I don’t even know. I don’t remember that. Silliness. Secondly, how I never got caught stealing anything is beyond me. That I DO remember. I used to carry around huge purses everywhere and just steal shit left and right. I remember I once stole like $200 worth of clothing and my brother got busted stealing a bracelet. I was so terrified they were going to search me too, but nope…never got caught. Still, I learned my lesson either way, and I don’t steal things now. Ever. No, really. I don’t. Cause it’s dumb.
This was also during my lesbian phase. I say phase because that’s what it was. I’m bisexual. Always have been, always will be. Even then I knew I was bisexual. But in public I was identifying as a lesbian. It seemed like there was only one person in my high school who could get away with being openly bisexual and not treated like shit for it. So I felt pressure to “pick a side”. While I had very deep feelings for Cameron at the time, Hannah was there in person. So I was a lesbian for a short while. And apparently a very horny lesbian at that. lol. For the record, Hannah was NOT the girl I was breaking up with at the beginning of this blog. That was a totally different girl.
Was I a lesbian slut?
Either way, I really want some ice cream now.