Deep Questions

Published April 5, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

So I was trying to think of something fun and happy to write about when I started thinking about my old myspace blog. Back when memes took the form of surveys that you would fill out about yourself. So because I like lists, questions, and talking about me, I figured I’d hunt one down. I found a website called and scrolled and skimmed for a second. Found a survey called “Deep Questions”. I made it a point NOT to read the questions. They just looked longer than “favorite color?”, so I snagged it for here. So here we go. Here are some (apparently) deep questions that I’m going to answer for you.

  • 1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? I would have to say it’s much more difficult to look into someone’s eyes when I’m telling them how I feel. Especially if how I feel at the moment has a negative connotation. I don’t like to upset/disappoint people (or myself) so I usually end up crying if I see even a tiny flicker of hurt/anger/disappointment in their eyes.
  • 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
    First, go read my “Aliens” blog post. It’s right down there v. Go. Read it. Done? Ok. I was super pissed off on Tuesday after all the stuff with the exam and being “ineligible” and shit happened. But mostly I was pissed at myself, because I sat there all night unable to do my damn job, and I was beating myself up over it. The rational side of my brain knew that there was literally nothing else I could do. But the emotional side of me was so worried over disappointing my spouse and being disappointed in my inability to work that I just…sat here in silence and hated on myself all night. Then the rational me got pissed at the irrational me, and the irrational me beat up on myself more…vicious cycle.
  • 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
    I would call my spouse and tell him I love him. Then I would give him the location of my death letter. Yes, I have, hidden in my house, a letter to be read should I pass away. It has instructions on what to do with my body as well as my stuff. I should probably have a will drawn up, I know. But right now I don’t really own anything of value, so I don’t see it as a big deal. I’ll definitely do one when I have kids though, so no worries.
  • 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
    I would probably tell my best friends. Maybe. I’m not sure. But if I knew I only had so much time to live, then I’d make up a will to divide all my sentimental possessions among my friends and family. Write letters to everyone so they can keep a piece of me. Tell everyone what I really love most about them…just try to make it a nice time in general. Probably do all the things I should be doing anyway.
  • 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
    I’ve had love without trust before, and I don’t like it so much. I think I’d prefer trust without love, just as a change of pace.
  • 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
    Of course I would save the dog!!! And if my boss fired me over it, then I wouldn’t want to work for him anyway. Heartless bastard!
  • 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
    They’re the same person, so I don’t know if that question really applies.
  • 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
    Honestly, I would be so stoked if that ever happened again with the person I’m thinking of. But I really don’t think it will. Our lives are too incompatible, really. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally in love with the person I’m thinking of. And in their own way, I know they love me too. But a relationship beyond maybe FWB just wouldn’t work, and we both know that.Sad, but true. 😦
  • 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? Nope, I wouldn’t do it. Call me selfish, but I don’t forgive suicide. I’ve tried to, I just can’t forgive that person.
  • 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
    Sure. I don’t believe in uncomfortable silence, I’m open about pretty much everything, and I am totally cool with just chilling out and drinking a bottle of wine. Maybe have some chicken. You know…I’m just laid back and chill. So I’d like me as a friend.
  • 11. Does love = sex?
    Not always. However, for me, there can’t be sex without love. So maybe sex=love? I dunno.
  • 12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
    Depends on how much I like/need the job myself. With things (that I have yet to blog about) the way they are in my life right now, no I wouldn’t. If I didn’t need the work, or I had some other option, then sure. If that co-worker is a good person and an honest worker, I’d give up my job for them.
  • 13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
    I don’t know. I mean, I’m always pretty honest about how I feel. Just on a day to day basis, ya know? But I don’t remember the last time I really sat someone down and said “Here’s exactly…” Oh wait. My mom. I was telling her over the phone exactly how I felt about a situation I’m having with a friend of mine. That was yesterday. I told her about how I’m excited about where things are going with my friend and how we’re working together to make both our lives happier and that it was scary to induce all this change, but that it was like roller coaster kinda scary. Fun scary.
  • 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
    It’s always harder for me to tell someone I don’t love them. Mostly because there are very few people that I just don’t love. Also because even if I don’t love someone, I don’t want to hurt them. I’ve hurt people tenfold because I lied about not loving them. That’s how much I hate telling someone they’re unloved by me.
  • 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
    Probably cigarettes. Yeah, I’m back to smoking again. Not as much, but I’m consistently buying smokes. *sigh* It’s hard to quit. I still have intentions of doing so, I’m just not sure when anymore.
  • 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
    Oh let’s see…I told my aunt and my mom I loved them when I was getting off the phone with them the other day. And I told my best chick friend I loved her via text the other day. Actually I think I said, “I want you to know that I love you. But you are ridiculously hard to shop for.”
  • 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
    I’d make all this shit with my job a non-issue. Sorry…it’s still on my mind a lot.
  • 18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
    Ha! My vaperite friend. He could protect me from anything. (Yikatee!!!)
  • 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
    Duh? Yes!!! Cause they’re freaking dying!
  • 21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
    I’d let go of my grandmother. I know she would want me to.
  • 22. Are you old fashioned?
    My partner has trained me to be old fashioned about a lot of things. I guess in general I am. I believe that it’s his job to take out the trash and mow the lawn. I’d be so happy if I could just stay home and cook and clean. I feel a split second of annoyance if a guy doesn’t get the door for me…that kinda thing.
  • 23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
    I try to be like that every day. Yesterday I offered to do some web work for my aunt and didn’t expect anything in return. Today I wrote someone a letter without expecting anything. So…I guess I’m pretty much that way all the time.
  • 24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
    Never loved at all. Broken hearts suck so bad.
  • 25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? I would wish to be thin enough to dance. Then I could be happy, my partner could be happy, and life would be much more entertaining and much less difficult.

There ya go! Hope you enjoyed it!


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