Published April 4, 2013 by Carmen Lamiarum

Note: Sorry for not updating much this week. I was hoping something really awesome would come along and I could write about that. But so far, nothing major has really happened. This isn’t a post I really want to write, but I guess it’s time to face the music and just do it.

I’m not saying that my job is fucking with me, but…my job is fucking with me. And it’s kinda bullshit. They have now made me “ineligible” to write the two article forms that I’m most proficient in writing. And they’ve offered zero reason as to why, despite my numerous emails asking what I’ve done wrong. My only guess is that I’ve written too many articles in too short a period of time. They’re also completely shutting down article writing for two weeks this month because they’re really backlogged with articles that need editing. I’m open to helping edit, but I got an email the other day that basically said I had until the end of that day to take the editing exam, pass it, then edit five articles to have the cap removed…I’m guessing you can only do so many or something. So of course I’m like, “Shit! Better hurry!” and I take the exam…no one ever graded it, so I couldn’t do the articles. Which most likely means that when they finally do get around to grading it, I’ll have a five article daily cap while the writing section is closed. And only getting paid $2 per article to edit…I’m not making enough. Not even close.

So I’m taking this week to gather my thoughts, stop beating up on myself for not really getting much done, and prepare for the future. I’m going to have to find a different job. Hopefully something I like. Hopefully something full time. At least until I can dance again. I just don’t want to be stuck in some dead-end “I’m desperate for any kind of work” job that will only make me miserable. My fear of having a job I hate is so great that I’d rather have no job at all. But that’s not an option right now, so…gotta find something.

If I can’t do what I like (write or dance) I at least hope I can do something mindless. I like mindless work a lot, actually. One of my best friends suggested an inventory company. I could most likely work nights, which I would prefer, and it’s just counting a bunch of stuff, which I can do with my headphones on…right? So I’ll be applying to a few local inventory companies tonight or tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m creating a list of other places that could potentially let me work nights doing stuff that doesn’t take much thought. Stock at Kroger, Walgreens, CVS…just something to tide me over while I’m still losing weight. Are they jobs (like the one I have/had) that I could be particularly proud of? Well…probably not. But at least it’s something, ya know?

I wish this blog were more positive. Like I said, I really didn’t want to have to write all this stuff out. And more than that, I really didn’t want to write a negative blog in general. Maybe I’ll go find a writing prompt and write out something more positive in a little bit.


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