So I’m feeling a little better. I ended up talking to my spouse about things anyway, and he’s agreed to take the pressure off me a little bit. Obviously I’m still held up to my promise to work 40 hours a week, which is fine, but I don’t have to worry about the world crashing down on my head if something happens, ya know? That’s helped a lot.
Now I just need to do two things for myself. One is to let go of yesterday. I’ve been trying to get over what I feel was a major failure by reading uplifting articles on nerdfitness.com (Here are the two best ones I’ve read today, if you want to read them. http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/12/03/who-you-were-who-you-are/ and http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/13/productivity/ ) I’m trying to remember that I didn’t fail yesterday. I learned how to not be as productive as I want to be. The whole Thomas Edison thing. I also keep telling myself that today is a fresh new day with no mistakes in it yet. I can make today to beginning of the rest of my life, and all that jazz. It’s helping a little bit.
The other thing I need to do is a more long term goal. I need to figure out how to productively manage my stress. Crochet doesn’t work, counting or mantras or meditation doesn’t work. My partner suggested I work out, which I haven’t really tried. I’m going to test that theory today if I need it. I’ve also found ten hours of white noise on youtube that I plan to play while I’m working ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNqERBWaJeM ) to see if that’ll help reduce the stress from the get go. I’ll also be talking to my therapist about the entire situation on Friday to see if he has any suggestions on what I can do to quickly lower my stress levels so I can get back to being productive.
Interesting…I started the white noise thing and it seems to be pretty calming already. Obviously I haven’t started working yet, but we shall see if it continues to do it’s job. Kind of sounds like sitting in an airplane…