Warning: I’m drunk. But all of this is still true. Ignore typos, please. And try to understand.
I don’t think I’m destined to be with just one person for the rest of my life. You might find that funny for me to say, given that I’m married. But it’s true. I don’t think I could only be in love with just one person if I even tried. I’m in love (IN love) with so many different people, all for different reasons and to different degrees. And I express that love in different ways.
My spouse is my “primary”. My number one. Not to imply that I love him more than anyone else, because like I said, every kind of love that I have for people is completely different and incomparable. But what I mean to say is that I love him in a way that is demonstrated by marriage and family. I would never leave him or end our marriage for someone else. But in the same respect, he knows that I would never end my relationship with my female primary for him or anyone else. And while that relationship isn’t demonstrated with marriage or anniversaries or even flowers, it is just as important as my marriage is to me.
I have multiple secondaries. They don’t get to choose whether or not to be with me, because they don’t get to decide whether or not I love them. In my own mind, those people belong to me. And I keep them in my heart and love them in different ways. I have my gay, and we talk about everything. I have my military man, and we argue all the time (in a good way, I feel). I have my genius…a sexual relationship that so far hasn’t included any sex. And many others. I love them all passionately, but differently. I treat them all uniquely, because they’re unique. On a scale of 1-10, I love them all at a ten. But that love is different.
Is this making any sense?
In a perfect world, I would give them all my version of the ultimate demonstration of love. And with many of them I have the option to. Some of them I have. Some I haven’t…yet. And it’s probably not what you think. In a perfect world, they would all understand and be mine always. Some of them get it. Most of them do. A couple don’t, but that’s okay. I don’t want them to all be the same. They’re all perfect just the way they are.
You’re perfect. And I love you. Yes. You.